A Test For Figuring Out If A Friend Is A Friend Or A Hypocrite Pretending To Be Your Friend.
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A true friendship is a rare gift to be treasured now and for years to come. Fake "friendships" come and go and often steal a piece of our soul when they leave. It's important to recognize them for what they are before they have a chance to hurt us deeply.
Here's a test that will help you figure out if your friend is a true one or a hypocrite pretending to be your friend:
1. When you need their help, are they
a) there for you, willing to help
b) have "better things to do"
2. When it comes to respect, do they
a) respect and value you
b) treat you as someone who is disposable and good-for-now
3. When they socialize successfully and get included into a new social network, do they
a) offer to introduce you to their new friends
b) keep you away from their success and popularity
4. They do little favors for you that show they care
a) often and without being asked
b) rarely or never
5. Do they invite you to the parties they organize
a) always
b) from time to time
6. Do you feel that this friendship
a) is a two-way street -- you get as much as you give
b) mostly one-way street -- you're the giving one
7. Are they
a) sincere with you
b) lying to you habitually
8. They have a busy social schedule, so do they
a) make time to see you because your friendship is a priority
b) treat you as a plan B, as someone to see when nothing better comes along
9. It happens, feelings get hurt sometime, but do they
a) care about your feelings and regret it sincerely if they accidentally hurt you
b) have hurt you on purpose or hurt you thoughtlessly without really feeling bad about it
10. When you are with them, your self-esteem is
a) same as usual or even higher
b) lower then usual
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If your answers are all A, congratulations, you have a true friend.
If some of the answers are B, it's not a good sign. Your friendship is out of balance.
If most of your answers are B, run for your life!
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Thank you for your comment, Amanda. If we make friends who are shallow and fickle, it can mean that we're like them, it can mean that we're needy or desperate to have any friends. But it also can mean that we haven't learned to value ourselves, to stand up for ourselves. In this case we need to grow some spine :)
Intersting. very nice.
After reading it I have found some B's in my friends.
What would become of me?
:)
Thanks for writing such a thorough reply for my request.
Unfortunately, greathub, I have some B's in some of my friends too :)
Here're the the 3 choices I've been making for the last couple of years:
1. Train them to respect you and behave appropriately. It's doable, but require consistency and patience.
2. Dump them and breeze easier, if their behaviour is really getting you down and there's not enough positive points in that friendship.
3. Downgrade them from friends to "acquintences" and don't invest in them emotionally.
#1 works best with people who want to be good or need to feel that they're good.
#2 works best with pests.
#3 is good for networking, but it sort of makes me uncomfortable.
Hi there, nice post there and infos. I recently wrote a topic about "How do I make friends?" too http://hubpages.com/_30c0q6tyas8wx/hub/How-do-I-ma Hope this posts help someone cheers!
Amanda Severn Level 3 Commenter 3 years ago
Fun hub, and a serious issue! In some ways our friendships define us. If we make friends who are shallow and fickle, does that mean that we are also shallow and fickle, or possibly just needy and grateful?